Malachi 3:8-12 says:
Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
Ye [are] cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, [even] this whole nation.
Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that [there shall] not [be room] enough [to receive it].
And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts.
And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the LORD of hosts.
I’ve disappointed my grandmother, Lurline. I’ve disappointed God. My grandmother tirelessly prayed for my sister and I and she’s always done right by her family, and when she was alive, I faithfully attended church. And I don’t now. I don’t know why either. I couldn’t tell you that. But recently my father had a chat with my family and said that he has this nagging feeling that our blessings are gone. I felt it was even more of a sign when today, a friend spoke to me about attending church with her. I’m not to prideful to admit that I do only call on the Lord when I need him, and I want to mend that habit. Although I say my prayers faithfully, visiting the house of God at least once a month should be in my heart as well. This year was hard. But it could have been harder. I’m thankful, but not enough. I’m doing right by my own standards, but not by God’s standards, and to an extent, I know my grandmother is disappointed. I need to change. And although the year coming to a close shouldn’t be a catalyst for personal growth, it seems fitting to reflect more and more about letting God back into my life.
Malachi speaks about tithes and offerings, a monetary gift to the Lord. And yes, as I plan to build my relationship with God, that becomes apart of my pledge. Yet, I do not do it for the gifts in return. I just want his blessings. I’m constantly worrying and my mind is always scattered. I lack clarity and stability. I want my peace of mind back. So, I take the steps from now to walk in his light more and more everyday.